Monday, May 26, 2008

Queen For a Day

I've been tagged by Melissa at Fischtale Designs to write a list of 5 quirky facts about myself. I have done this a few times before, but since my life is pretty much one giant "quirk" (which probably makes me the Queen of Quirk), I'll give it another go. Here are 5 snippets from the "Land of Quirk", and some of these even qualify as Blasts From the Past, my regularly random series of fond memories of child rearing.

Number 1-- "A Pox on you"

My youngest kid was given the chicken pox vaccine as a baby but came down with The Pox a few years later anyway. I had no idea she could still get the virus so I thought it was just a rash and sent her to school. This was 14 days before Christmas--(yes folks, that is precisely the incubation period for coming down with the illness after exposure.) I never told anyone it was us that spread Chicken Pox. . . er. . .the Christmas Cheer to the entire kindergarten. And if anyone I know asks, I'll just deny the whole thing.

Number 2--"Barfy Artist Disease"

[In honor of one of my fellow blog-sisters, Cindy over at Yapping Cat, as she discussed recently the hazards of crafting and fingers and X-acto knives.]
I guess it's an occupational hazard. (Just look at Van Gogh--his missing ear was most likely a huge misunderstanding and probably involved a miscue with an X-acto.) I've had the same war wound on my left index finger. And then there is the "Dropped the X-acto that Lands Straight into Foot" injury. Followed by the "Too Queasy to Pull it Out Syndrome". Which, if not addressed quickly, will lapse into a condition known as the dreaded "Fainting Artist Disease". Cindy responds, "Yes, if I had had to "retrieve" the knife from being impaled in my finger...the "Barfy Artist" disease would reign..." I hear ya, sistah.

Number 3-- "Julia Childs would run for the hills"

There are pieces of boiled eggs which exploded all over my 10 foot kitchen ceiling. The mess was indescribable, and the smell. . . oh, the smell. . . I'm shuddering as I think of it. One day I will give all the gory and smelly details--but that's another post for another day.

Number 4-- "Potty Training is overrated--I like to call it "Survival of the Fittest."

By the time we got to the job of potty training the 4th kid, with the busy schedules of her 3 older siblings I really found it easier just to use diapers. We spent so many days at ball fields and car lines and grocery stores and practices and other places with limited facilities, I had to find a way to survive. You moms know the drill-- the entire world must stop when your 2 year old has to "go". And I'm not even going to mention the less-than-sanitary conditions of public restrooms--or frantically trying to cover the toilet seat with t.p. before the "waterworks" begin. . . or worse, trying to dangle a 2 year old over the noxious surface when urgency trumps germ-a-phobia. In those days before Purell, echoes of my own childhood came crashing back as I found myself repeating these same words my own dear mother had spoken an eon before, "Don't TOUCH ANYTHING!!" I am probably the only mom on the planet who said to her little one, "Oh, honey, wouldn't you just like to wear a diaper today?"

Number 5-- "Return to Sender"
I celebrated my birthday this month. I am thankful for each day and the wonderful possibility therein, but the scary part is that I'm inching toward 50, so AARP is right around the corner. I'm thinking about moving to a different corner, and not leaving a forwarding address.

(If you're up to it you can read the other lists I've done here and here and here.)


Rebecca Ramsey said...

What a fun post, Cathy!
I love all your quirks, and can so identify! (I've said the same diaper quote myself to my child #3!)
I always enjoy your blog!

Lori said...

well hello your highness:) LOVE the really know how to get me laughing...i recently had an exploding baked potato incident that i think i shared with your first reaction {of course} was to run for the camera...which in turn made my family think i was going over the edge at long last...well, i was only trying to preserve the incident for the edification of my dear readers...the potato explosion proved not to look as dramatic on film as it did in real life so i am only sharing it in comments...or did i just do a blog post posing as a comment...LOL!!! hope you had a great weekend...

cindy said...

Always glad to contribute! : D You are too funny and you always make my day! and I hear ya on #5, oh honey do I ever hear ya! LOL.

c said...

My exacto knife usually lands straight up, sticking out of my thigh.

Suzanne said...

Cute Cathy! You always make me laugh. ....and #5 is creeping up on me too, ugh!

Mary Isabella said...

Adore the banner!!
The post is so fun and interesting.
I really like the memorial post. This poem is so true and beautiful.


Designs by CK said...

Hi Miss Cathy ~ Popping in to say hello & wish you a wonderful week! :)


Anonymous said...

#5 has already creeped up on me and I will warn you, you can run but you can't hide. AARP will find you anyway. They sent the nice little envelope way before your birthday and you think, are they talking about me??
Good post.
Have a great day!

BittersweetPunkin said...

LOl!! Loved your post!! I can so relate...I carried a packet of those toilet seat covers around in my purse....

AARP has been wooing me for a few years now..I'm only 41!! They start EARLY...I also get solicitations for Miracle Ear!

Tipper said...

Very Funny! I loved each one of them.

The Burp Cloth Babe said...

Oh, the drama! Great Aunt indeed. Loved it.

Donna O. said...

Okay, these were SO funny!!! Really, you had me giggling the whole way through but the "honey don't you want to wear a diaper today?" line along wiht the 'Don't touch anything!" had me laughing out loud!!! Hysterical.

Melissa Valeriote said...

Too funny! Happy Birthday dearie!! Just remember 50 is the new 35. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Jenn said...

Oh my gosh...CRACKING up at #2 especially!! I once dropped an x-acto knife into my husbands foot (yes, by accident!) and he just stared at it sticking straight up out of his foot as I was hysterically screaming...what a mess;) xoxo...jenn

Trish said...

Oh you are too funny. Loved your post. Don't even remember how I ended up here but I thoroughly enjoyed my stay. Come by for a visit although I do not think I could come close to your episodes!.. Except maybe on Chemistry Sundays...another story altogether! Oh, that would be describing my attempts at baking...

Sweet B Folk Art said...

Your posts are so fun to read! I can't wait to see your new offerings on G&G

Sweet B.

Talisman said...

Your egg story made me think of this:

When my older sister was in high school she and her friends made jello jiggler squares. And then proceeded to throw them up in the air to see if they would stick to the ceiling.

They did. It was a white ceiling. They freaked and peeled the jello off the ceiling but it left a nice red rectangle mark on the ceiling.

Funny thing about that? My mom didn't notice until like 3 years later and proceeded to yell at my sister who couldn't stop laughing because it had taken her so long to notice.

foolery said...

My egg story was a bottle of red wine, in an all-white spotless kitchen, at 10:30 at night, when I REALLY wanted that glass of wine. Only it was not drinkable as it was rendered -- full of shards of wine bottle, scattered well into the dining room. The only place it DIDN'T go was the ceiling.

Funny meme, Cathy -- thanks for the link!