Saturday, January 19, 2008

3. . . .2. . . .1. . . .Blast Off!

Since I'm bringing up the rear of the Baby Boom Generation, and there were no blogs to chronicle the fun things my kids did when they were small (I don't think Al Gore had even invented the internet yet) -- and since I have a plethora of crazy stories rambling through my mind, I thought it might be fun to revisit some of those good ole days. (Plus, I just like to use the word "plethora" whenever I can.) Thus I begin a series entitled "Blasts From the Past" -- figurative blasts mostly, but one or two real blasts just to keep things interesting. Truthfully, this is a veiled, self-indulgent attempt to live in the past which is really an excuse to avoid doing laundry. These will be regular postings, and by regular, I mean random, because I really don't do structure or deadlines very well. Heck, that's why I don't even carry a watch--I find them too judgmental. And "random" fits in better with my busy life, because sometimes I actually need to do laundry.

I had 4 kids in 7 years and there are spaces of time which I just can't (or maybe, won't) remember. Days were filled with all the fun and busy-ness (aka, mayhem) that 4 kids, 2 dogs, one husband, and one 18 pound stray cat named Friendly could muster. I think I had at least one kid in diapers, sometimes two at a time, for about 10 years, without a break. Our family single-handedly kept Kimberly Clark and Proctor and Gamble in business through part of the '80's and into the '90's.

But one particularly hectic evening I remember that I was in a hurry to get myself and my kids out the door to some really important, live-or-die event like soccer practice or grocery shopping. I was busy trying to finish supper, clean up spilled juice, deal with a colic-y infant, answer a relentlessly ringing phone, and referee 2 toddlers. As I hurriedly stirred the pot on the stove, I quickly glanced over my shoulder to supervise yet another spat, and suddenly realized the baby was nowhere to be seen. In a panic I asked the two oldest, "WHERE'S THE BABY?!" I was met with dumbfounded stares, and my son finally said timidly, "Mom. . . .you're holding her." Talk about needing a Calgon moment.

But, Calgon didn't take me too far away. . . Sometimes things were quiet. . . .a little too quiet. . . . . like the scene from Bambi, just before the fire and then all the woodland creatures scramble, "Man's in the forest!!" During one of those moments, I found our 2 year old merrily singing and cleaning the toilet. . . with my toothbrush. Okay, that was scary, but the really scary part was that I wasn't sure just how many times before that she'd helped with the housework, and I didn't know. This is the same (Get outa my hospital!) child who came running into a room where I was sitting and then, unsolicited, announced defiantly, "I didn't touch anything." I'm not sure if the sound barrier was broken as I scrambled into the room where she'd been, and I never found out just what she hadn't touched, but I did replace all the toothbrushes, just in case.

Oh there are so many more stories, but I'm getting hives just reliving it all, so I'll save some for later. We survived those years and good thing--three are teenagers now. No worries there. . . right?
So, the first "blast" has been fired, so to speak, and is in the virtual books. And from a mom who's lived almost through to the other side, there is a light (or a train, maybe!) at the end of the tunnel and I'd never, ever trade the journey along the way, even for a new toothbrush. :-)
What a blessing.


Lori said...

you are SO funny!!! thanks for giving me one last smile:) before i have to leave for work:(
we are SO alike...i don't wear a watch either, same reason...and i haven't been to the doctor or had my hair done in forever because i don't like "appointments" either!!!

Elizabeth Prata said...

LOL, funny! 'you're holding her," love it.

I love saying plethora too. If you ever saw the mildly funny movie The Three Amigos with Chevy Chase and Steve Martin and the scene about the "Plethora of Pinatas."

Youtube link

it's 2:26 long but the plethora part is up to 1:36. A plethora!!!

Bebe said...

Hi Cathy,

Your post gave me quite a chuckle on this rainy night in Georgia! The baby cleaning the toilet with your toothbrush and your not knowing it ~ I can just picture the look you must have had on your face!

I love coming over to your blog because of your humor!! (I'm still trying to get over the bat in the basement hanging above your laundry area!)

Take care and keep warm ~ they say our peachy state is in for a couple days of cold weather.

Bebe :)

*retro-rudolphs* said...

Thank you Cathy for the hearty chuckle!
It's reassuring to know there's light at the end of the tunnel! ... but I think I'll go change the toothbrushes now just to be on the safe side.


BittersweetPunkin said...

That is SO funny!!! Wow...what a helper though...even I don't clean with a toothbrush!!!

smileymamaT said...

HA! Well just so you know, I kept the diaper people in business all through the 90's, so don't feel like you left em' hanging...

And oh yes, I do remember the crazy days, and once we found the 4-yr-old next to the VCR with an empty glitter tube...saying proudly "I filled it UP!" Oy vey...

Keep those stories coming! It's so much more fun than laundry.

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Love all your stories. What a life you are having! Thanks for sharing.

meg said...

Isn't amazing that both the children & the parents survive those years without committing any felonies :-P
Like you, I'm almost afraid of writing about those years- I get heart palpatations, cold sweats, & sprout additional white hair just thinking about it; hopefully the time is close that I can look back & laugh over most of it *sigh*

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

Your story is hilarious! So true how we get so caught up in the moment that we don't see what is right in front of us. LOL about the toothbrush....ewwwww!


Back Through Time said...

That was such a funny story!! Good thinking to replace the toothbrushes, LOL

Eccentricities Studio said...

Oh my gosh, Cathy, your really need to get yourself a good publisher and write a memoir. I'd buy a copy for myself and one for every Mommy I've EVER know. Your writing style is truly magical ... you suck me in and make me giggle. It is reminiscent of my life ... or rather the life I'm currently living. ROTF ... your wit and charm are extremely magnetic ... and you have a flair for pulling peole right into the heart of your story. Seriously, I feel like I'm standing in the middle of your memories. PLEASE ... look into a book deal ... you're just too good. In the meantime, I'm really really looking forward to reading more of your stories. :)


Anonymous said...

Loove your blog banner
Denise Mass.

Sandra Evertson said...

Funny post!
And loved the slide show with all of your beautiful artwork!
Sandra Evertson

Jules~ said...

oh my goodness what a good story. Gosh those "Mom" moments that we find ourselves in. I too agree that you had the beginnings of a great helper in the making....scrubbing with a toothbrush.
It reminds me of a story I read once about a preschooler asking for Mom's chapstick. Mom found this preschooler putting the chapstick on the cat's hind end...because it looked so chapped. Bless their hearts.

kecia said...

cute story! my mom had 4 of us in CLOTH diapers at one time. can you imagine? and she was a navy wife - i don't know how she did it without drugs or antidepressants - lol!

Sylvia Anderson said...

Too funny Cathy!! Ican relate, and I only have one....can't imagine have four so close together! You deserve an award!!

The Crackling Crows said...

LOL thank you for sharing your stories Cathy...they are always so refreshing... LOVE IT!

Hugs Ivonne :)

Cheffie-Mom said...

LOL! Love it! Your blog is great!

WeaselMomma said...

Thanks for the smile on my face and a few good belly laughs.